Yeah I do this 'cause I wasn't good at nothin' else
I tried to everything I just wasn't good I tried to be a criminal It just ain't work out One day I'm chillin'
I'm in the barber shop Now, let me break it down You can get anything in a black barbershop or the black beauty parlor — CDs, DVDs, pocket books You even can get a little turtle You ever see the Chinese man come in selling DVDs and baby turtles? Where are they getting these baby turtles? So, I'm chillin' in the barber shop
My boy Moe comes in He said, "We're doing credit–card scams" Now people, you know, I know my life is messed up, so I don't try nothin', but I'm listening Now he said, "We're doing credit–card scams We're getting credit cards out the mail with the pin number
We're giving them to you All you got to do is go to the ATM machine, punch in a pin number, and give us half of whatever you get" So, I'm listening and I'm like, "I can do this! I'll be ballin' in five minutes" So, I tell him, "Moe, give me all the credit cards you got" Now, people, I'm an over-analytical type, so I planned this out like a bank heist
Now, first thing's first, we all know that all ATM machines have what? All: Cameras Martin: Cameras So, I must defeat the camera "I got it, I'll wear a motorcycle helmet" So, I pull up to the bank, I get out the car, I put my motorcycle helmet on, go in the bank, put the card in the machine, punch in a pin number, $500 comes out
Whoo! I'm like, "Oh yeah, I'm ballin' now!" I put the money in my pocket, went to open the door, and the door was jammed shut "Damn!" So, I started shaking the door, but the door wouldn't open I said, "Oh man, they done locked me in the bank! They knew the credit card was stolen and they done locked me in the bank!" So I started kicking on the door, but the door wouldn't open I started jamming it and it wouldn't open I said, "Dang! How am I gonna get out?" Light bulb goes off in my head — use the helmet
So, I went to take the helmet off, but I couldn't take the helmet off, 'cause if I take the helmet off, they'll see my face So I say, "You know what? I'll break the glass with the helmet on my head" Hey, hah! Hah! Huh! I said, "This ain't gon' work" Sit down and started crying [ Crying ] That's when you start talking to yourself in third person
"Look at you — locked in a bank with a motorcycle helmet on [ Crying ] I should've went to college
" So, then I said, "Wait, I'll try and put the money back in the machine," so I went to the machine and tried to put the money back in, but it ain't take it I said, "Now you're goin' to jail! They police gon' come and look on the other side of the door and say, 'Look at this dumb idiot 'Locked in the bank with a motorcycle helmet on'" So, I said, "You know what, forget it I'ma just sit down on the floor and wait for the police to come
" It started to get hot, so I opened up the little window so I could see, and then I looked up and there was a sign that said "Press the green button to exit"